Here she comes down the aisle, draped in white, innocent, lovely, radiant.  She gazes down the aisle at her groom.  Her father beams proudly as he guides his precious daughter to meet her groom.  Ahhhhh,  the wedding day.  Obviously, the bride is serene and peaceful, a picture of loveliness and romance.  Her bridesmaids smile approvingly as they stand in support for their friend.  BUT (and that’s big BUT), little do those in the pews know of all the havoc and heartbreak that has preceded this seemingly beautiful day. 

If you are confused by the opening paragraph of this post, or by the term “bridezilla”…let me explain.  In the last 20 years it seems that the wedding day has become about one person-the bride.  All her friends and family brain wash her by telling her over and again that “it is her day”- “its all about you, you are the “princess for the day.”  In essence,  the bride is the focal point, numero uno, the big cheese, the big kahuna, her majesty, if you will.   You probably know exactly what I am talking about here.  We are all familiar with at least one “bridezilla” who bulldozed over anyone in her path as she planned her day in the limelight.  The bride who is afflicted with bridezilla syndrome cares little about the feelings of others and is often not phased by a little “collateral damage” on her way down the aisle. 

You are probably wondering, what about the groom?  Well, although the bride may love her groom, she sees her role as “princess for the day” as taking
priority over her future husband’s feelings.  Many a groom are unwittingly sucked into the vortex of the wedding day without even knowing that his role is being undermined from the very beginning.  (which as you can imagine is not a healthy way to begin a marriage).   

Is this “princess for the day” a biblical principal?  Is getting married about dressing up and basking in the limelight of everyone’s gaze a healthy way to begin a marriage?  What kind of message are we sending to our young girls when we perpetuate the spoiled bride mentality?   What does God say about marriage and the wedding day?

First, let me explain that I have nothing against marriage or weddings.  I’ve been happily married for 8 years and my husband and I had a beautiful wedding (planned mostly by my mom, thanks mom!).  This post is derived from some observations I’ve made over the last few years and how selfish brides have become as soon as the ring hits their finger.  Not only do most of them overnight become demanding and unreasonable, they think it is their right.  Afterall, it’s all about them, right?  WRONG!

God created marriage to be a picture of his relationship with his church.  Ephesians 5:31-32 says: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh.  This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.”  With this in mind, is it appropriate for the bride to seek her own selfish desires in the planning of a ceremony that is a sacred vow before God and is symbolic of Christ’s relationship to his church?  No, it is not!  Even in the planning stages of the wedding ceremony, the bride (and groom) need to keep in mind the sacred meaning intrinsic in marriage and how seriously Christ’s views it.  This means casting aside syloptic (self-centeredness) and realizing the the wedding is not just about the bride.  After the wedding, when reality sets in, the bride (and groom) will realize that she (they) need their family and friends.  Many a bride has emerged from the fog of the wedding day and realized that they do indeed needs friends and cannot “live on love”.   But much to her dismay she has alienated many of her friends and family during the race to the altar.

Marriage (in the biblical sense) is a selfless act.   The wife seeks her husband’s needs before her own and vice versa.  In fact, all relationships were designed by God to work in this sense.  Jesus was the ultimate example when he laid down his life for the world.  He became a lowly human in order to make it possible for us to have an intimate and everlasting relationship with him!  What an awesome example for us to follow! 

So, this begs the question, what does a Christian wedding look like?  How should the bride conduct herself whilst planning and preparing for her wedding day, afterall, it is a blessed day!  Well, I am not saying that the bride should walk down the aisle in sackcloth and ashes and wear a depressed look on her face.  By all means no!  It is a wonderful celebration of God’s blessings and his covenant of marriage, which is a picture of his everlasting covenant with us!  My admonition is that every bride and groom should put eachother first, even in the planning of their big day.  The wedding day is a blip on the screen of married life and how one conducts oneself will ultimately determine the mood for the entire marriage.  Remember that small mishaps will fade away, the bridesmaid’s dresses will hang in closets, never to be worn again, the grooms men do not need to look perfectly manicured,  the flowers do not need to bankrupt the bride’s parents and the flower girl can squirm all she wants!  It is people that matter!  Thanks for reading!